Can You Keep a Secret?        陳思涵  Alice Chen

Sitting on the seat, waiting for the plane to take off, I’m extremely nervous right now. Okay. The truth is, I have flight phobia. I’ve kept it as a secret to Jeff, my boss, because I want this chance so badly to prove I can get this deal done. However, it only turns out to be a disaster.

The plane is moving now. I take a deep breath, count very slowly with my eyes closed as the plane is taking off. When I count to 450, the plane is flying steadily on the sky, so I stop counting and open my eyes. Trying to be relaxed and not so nervous, I take out the newspaper and quickly go to the business section. The headline “FAILURE E-BUSINESS OF B&C CAUSES THE FALLING STOCK PRICE” catches my eyes. The news says that B&C, the biggest cosmetics company in Taiwan, fails to expand the business to the internet world, and the CEO promises to seek out solutions such as making the website fancier to attract consumers’ attention and increasing banner ads. “Stupid decision! Consumers don’t care about fancy websites. Thousands of housewives who buy our products don’t even shop online because they’re computer morons, just like me, although I’m not a housewife yet. If I were the boss, I would have ended the on-line business,” I murmur to myself when I find the man beside me is glancing at me. “I’m sorry. I spoke too loud,” I apologize. Why should I care about this? Maybe I can’t stay in the company any longer after Jeff knows I have screwed up the deal. I glance at my reflection in the window. I look just like a top business woman. My hair straightened, I wear a smart suit, and…

Suddenly, the plane bumps. And then, there’s another bump.

Why is the plane bumping? Oh God. What am I going to do? I’m now in this heavy plane, with no way of escaping, thousands of feet above the ground. What am I going to do…what am I going to do? Maybe I’ll start counting again. 451, 452, and, oh my God, what is that bump again? OK, don’t be panic, Claire. It was just a bump. Everything will be all right. Where was I? 453, 454, and then I hear the screams of other passengers almost before I realize what’s happening. Oh God. OH NO…We’re falling. Oh God. We’re dropping downwards. I’m gasping, clutching onto my seat. I look at the man next to me, and he’s grasping his seat tightly as I am.

We’re going to die. We’re going to die. “I’m sorry?” the man in the next seat looks at me. “We’re going to die.” I say again and stare at his face. He could be the last person I ever see alive. “I don’t think we’re going to die. It was just turbulence,” he says. The plane suddenly drops down a little bit again and I find myself clutching the man’s hand in panic. “How can you be so sure? I don’t want to die. I’m only 28 years old. I’ve never achieved anything. I’m not a top business woman at all. I’m only an assistant and I just screwed up my first ever big meeting.” Wait. What am I talking about? “I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear this,” I say embarrassedly. “That’s OK,” replies the man. Oh no. The plane is lurching again.

“I flew to Hong Kong today to represent the B&C Corporation, which is where I work, to finalize a promotional arrangement.” I keep on saying, “Actually, this is the first time I take charge of a big deal. I’ve been at B&C for two years as a marketing assistant, and until now all I’ve been allowed to do is typing, arranging meeting for other people and answering the phones.”

I just can’t stop talking. I’m so panicked. I need to talk to someone. Every time the plane bumps or drops, words spill out of my mouth before I can stop it. I barely know what I’m saying. All I know is that it feels good. Is this what therapy is like?

“My boss told me that the deal was done and dusted and all I have to do is nod and shake their hands. Only fools like me believe that. Without any preparation, half the time I haven’t got the clue what people are talking about.” The plane is still bumping and I close my eyes tightly. “I hate Jeff, I hate B&C, and I want to be promoted so badly.” Wow, it’s really nice to say it out loud! “The coffee in my office is the most disgusting stuff you’ve ever drunk, just like poison…I said I’m a computer expert in my interview, but in fact I’m an absolute computer moron.” I speak extremely fast because I have the habit of speaking fast when I’m nervous. “I share a secret code with my colleague Sara. Whenever she says ‘Can you come and help me find some files, Claire?’ it really means ‘shall we sneak out to Starbucks?’... I tell my boy friend I’m 50 kg, but actually I weigh 53… I sleep naked but …”

“Excuse me, miss,” the man says loudly. “What?” I look at him dazedly. “We’ve landed,” he says. “We’ve landed? How could…?” I look around and find the plane still. It’s true. We’re on the ground.

Thank God. I’ve survived. But then I come to realize what I’ve done. I’ve been blabbering non-stop to this complete stranger about the most inner part of me and all my secrets. “I’m sorry,” I say awkwardly. “You should have stopped me.” “That would be a little difficult,” the man smiles and replies. I’m so embarrassed. I want to smile back but I can’t when I realize that I told him about my weigh and my habit of sleeping nakedly. “I’m so sorry,” I say again. “Don’t worry about it. We were all stressed out,” he says, ready to get off the plane. “Thanks. Enjoy your visit here.” I say when he leaves his seat, but I don’t think he hears.

What a day! I need to go home, have a nice sleep and forget the disaster today. Tomorrow is the “appraisal day.” Each member of the marketing department will be evaluated in the appraisal meeting, and this time they are going to choose one to be the next marketing manager. I know I can’t afford to screw it up again.

Big surprise! Before the appraisal meeting, we are informed that the CEO, Kevin Lin has come and decides to do the evaluation himself. This is no doubt a great shock for my colleagues and me. Kevin Lin leads a secret life and he rarely appears in Taiwan. Instead, he stays in different places around the world because he has houses in many countries. Actually, very few of the employees have seen him. For the staff in B&C, the CEO is a mystery.

If Jeff is my boss, then Kevin Lin would be my boss’ boss. This makes me even more nervous as I walk into the room. I open the door with my trembling hands and wonder how the CEO looks like. Is he handsome, old, fat, or bold? However, when I see the CEO sitting there, I am shocked, with my eyes and mouth wide open.

It’s the man, the man who sat beside me on the plane last night, the man who is the only person in the world that knows all my secrets. “Hi, Claire, have a seat,” he says when my mind is still a complete blank. “Hi, Mr. Lin,” I say awkwardly while trying to pretend calm and professional. Don’t be nervous. Maybe he won’t recognize me.

“Did you sleep well last night? You seemed stressed out on the plane.” Oh no. He recognizes me. Of course he should. I clutched his hands and blabbered non-stop about all my secrets. “Yes, thank you,” I reply.

“Good, so let’s start. I heard that you just failed to finalize the promotional arrangement with Glen Department Store, right? Do you know this deal is important for the company?” he asks.

“Yes, I’m extremely sorry about that,” I reply and come to realize that I was the person who told him all about it. I really want to stab myself.

“And you seem not agree on my E-business strategy, right?”

Oh no. How could he possibly still remember that? I was just murmuring then. “Uh…uh…actually, it’s not that bad.” I can’t even dare to look at him. I know it’s a fatal mistake for an employee to criticize his boss’ decision.

“Well, I remember you said you would rather end the online business last night,” he looks at me, smiling.

“Uh…uh…I …I just think women like to go shopping in the real stores more.” I don’t know what to say.

“One last question, Claire. Is the coffee in the office so disgusting that it makes you and Sara want to sneak to Starbucks?”

OK. I can’t take it anymore. “I apologize to you once more, Mr. Lin. I know I was so impolite on the plane last night, but that has completely nothing to do with my working ability. I mean, I won’t ask for the promotion, but at least don’t fire me, please,” I say with courage.

“Well, I’ll make the decision this afternoon before I leave. Thank you, Claire, and please tell Dave that he’s the next one,” he says.

“That’s all?” I say with doubt.

“Yeah. The result will be announced on the front page of the company’s website this afternoon before three o’clock,” he says.

I stand up and walk to the door. Before leaving, I take up the courage again and beg, “If at last you decide to fire me, that’s fine, but… but…can you at least keep the secrets for me, Mr. Lin? PLEASE…” However, instead of answering me, he just smiles.

The waiting is unbearable. Of course I’m not expecting the promotion because I screwed up the big deal yesterday. Besides, Mr. Lin knows the most stupid and evil side of me. He knows that I lied in my interview that I’m a computer expert. He knows I often sneak out to Starbucks while working. He heard my complaints about Jeff, about the coffee, just everything about the company. What’s worse, he heard my criticizing his “professional” strategy. However, I’m really worried about being fired because I know it’s difficult to find a job.

“What?” yells Dave, staring at the computer. His loud voice catches everyone’s attention in the marketing department. Dave keeps on saying, “The promotion decision has come out!” “Who is the one?” everyone asks nervously with anticipation. “But it’s weird. You know what? It says the new marketing manager is, is…,uh…”

“Who?” everyone is curious and impatient. Dave keeps on saying with a puzzled look on his face, “is the one who has flight phobia, weighs 53 instead of 50, often sneaks out to Starbucks during work, sleeps nakedly, but most of all, the one who reminds the company that online business is not profitable for B&C. By the way, there will be a new coffee machine tomorrow.” “What does that mean? Who is the person the CEO is talking about?” Everyone is confused with the announcement, except me.

Oh my God. It’s me, the would-be marketing manager. Could it be real? I’m just so shocked and happy. I finally get promoted. I’m no longer just an assistant. I…, but wait. Does that mean everyone is going to know all my secrets? Oh no. That’s not funny! I remember begging him to keep a secret for me!